Alina
On an April afternoon, between nervousness and joy, we received her. We had been together for 17 years as a couple and that moment opened the door to a new adventure for us. It was the beginning of a dream come true, of being parents. The name we chose was Alina and we were going to announce her on Mother's Day to our families.
That day, while playing a beautiful lullaby, in the midst of tears and lots of love, we walked hand in hand to the place where the family was waiting for us. We appeared in the middle of the room with a cake specially decorated for the occasion with a bird's nest containing a delicately painted egg covered in star glitter. In unison we said: “we are three”, while adrenaline ran through our bodies and our hearts jumped with joy and lots of love. It was a big surprise to see our entire family stand up to hug us and share our happiness. There's no doubt they were just as excited as we were.
So much support, enthusiasm and love sustained us to live what was to come in the coming weeks. Visits to the gynecologist increased because progesterone was low and not a good sign. Each visit and each examination added to our despondency. However, we didn't want to lose hope, we wanted that baby so much that what was happening seemed unreal to us and we accompanied each other.
A part of the wisdom of life is learning to let go and stop clinging to the irreversible. On May 23, 2017, the doctor announced that our little Alina had returned to the stars. We returned home with no heart in our chest. Feeling that only our soul sustained us with its breath. We tried to comfort ourselves somehow and find some candy in the fridge. We snuggled into bed and watched a movie that served as an excuse to cry and cry and cry. I don't know how many tears fell on our faces, but I know they served to make our hearts start beating again.
Shortly afterwards, with a calmer countenance, we performed a ritual to honor her fate, dedicating the following words to her: “You will always be our first daughter, the one who made us parents and we know that beyond the physical plane we are all united playing a melody You made our hearts flutter too loud, we will remember you and we will always carry you with us."
Two months after his departure, his life purpose was revealed to us in the most loving way the universe could have found, on August 1, 2017, we opened together the test that announced the pregnancy of his brother Elián. We immediately understood that our daughter's brief passage through this physical plane lasted as long as it took. In a way, her visit left her mother's womb clean and full of light for her brother, Elián, to live for 9 months.
We love you, daughter.
Gratitude for choosing us to be your parents.
